THINGS I’VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT:

1. Why the cute little 6-year-old with a coconut-tree pony didn’t accompany her grandpa to the railway station today?

a) Did she run out of paper to make those tiny boats that she daintily folds over as people rush by…

b) Did she get bored playing hopscotch on the foot over bridge?

c) Or did it finally dawn on her that all her blind grandpa was doing was standing there with his walking stick, one hand extended, for someone to take pity and toss a coin in?

2. Simple pleasures:
a) Listening to the public access system at the station and humming Clint Eastwood* in my head :)! *It’s a song by Gorillaz… Am still devising ways to bag sunshine…(If you’ve heard the song, you’ll know what I mean!)
b) Hearing the reassuring drone of an approaching train and then watching it envelope the platform with where it had been and where it will return… a boomerang ferrying Mumbai… The best part is sensing a stir go through the crowd like a Mexican wave, as it draws near… that’s when you know your chariot has arrived.
c) How we’ve bounced back amazes me… The city’s short-term memory seems to have worked in its favour… The other day, a loud, long-drawn-out sneeze was followed by an even louder comment that went: “Oye, desi cheekh!”… Predictably enough, a round of laughter trailed this remark. Mirth had returned as the constant companion of the men traveling in the first class compartment next to mine!

3. Marriage Mania: Everyone around me seems to be tying the knot, or talking about getting married or devising ways to get hitched… Now, I don’t have any problem with those being united in holy matrimony, especially those who’ve known each other for long or the wedlock was bound 2 happen category… but it’s those who are seeing others getting married and jumping onto the bandwagon, that I’m talking about… what’s the damn hurry… we aren’t living in the 14th century, so don’t give me that “society pressure” shit. Stand up to it and don’t settle… or rather compromise damn you!!!!
Afterthought: Just when I was trying to avoid all this wedding obsession talk, my mom just played this old track – You are a pink toothbrush… nodding my head away to its innocent tune, I was rudely shocked when 5 lines into the song, the pink toothbrush proposed to the blue toothbrush to marry it in haste!!!! Don’t believe me… chk this out.

4. Side-dish syndrome: Well, if you are a woman, even if average looking… no I take that back… If you are a WOMAN and walking past men, at a station, or a bus stop or a mall, and you hear this drawn out hisssssssssssssssssss typically followed by a comment, then you know that you’ve been included in their salivating menu for the day… or rather you are “Today’s special: spicy side dish”! Why in heavens name does any male in his right mind think that making that sort of sound is gonna get him anywhere? I think I answered it in my question itself… these men aren’t of the right mind or of the right kind after all.

5. Why men scratch their crotches as often as they blink?
Disgusting as it may seem, they do it anyway… on the road, in a meeting, at a wedding, you name it and they’ve done it there… what is it with ‘em anyway? Polish scientists claim that when men scratch their crotch, it means that they are thinking… hmmm how much does anyone wanna bet that the study was conducted by men?
A friend of mine said, “they grope for ideas in their groin”… Are you kidding me? I don’t think we want to know what sort of ideas originate from down there.
An interesting theory that most of my gal pals would agree with is that they check whether they still have their balls… figuratively speaking of course or maybe not!!! Ok, my point is… if men can scratch their thingammies as and when they please, then we women can spend hours in front of the mirror doin’ up our hair… at least we aren’t making a spectacle of ourselves in public places. On a more profound note, I’d give up brushing my hair altogether just so I wouldn’t have to see 'em religiously at it ever again!